Wearing And Tearing
by Aggie Pilkington
Summary: 'Well Cas, you know you're not really part of the family until Sam tries to ventilate you. It's like a Winchester rite of passage.' - Team free will rides again with the help of a little divine intervention. M for language & Mildish violence.


'You will bow down and profess your love unto me - your new god, or I shall destroy you.' The look on Castiel's face was so far from the Cas Dean thought he knew it turned the blood in his veins to ice. Deep down Dean had always believed that Cas would do the right thing in the end, that he would back down, that it would never come to this, not really. His eyes stung for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. His breath hitched painfully as that all too familiar feeling of loss settled in his chest - again.

The thudding of sneakers down the hallway was loud amidst all the stunned silence but the distracted occupants of Crowley's lab failed to notice the arrival of the young woman until she vaulted the hand rail and landed with a thud beside Dean. Everyone turned to stare at the stranger who was now bent over gasping for breath. Dean and Sam exchanged glances. Sam Shrugged before returning his gaze to the woman who looked like a blood soaked extra from an early Linklater film.

'Sweet Mary-sue.' She said as she gripped her side gasping and wincing. Blood seeped from what looked like a fatal stab wound in her chest and there were dried patches of what Dean suspected was someone else's blood covering her hands and knees. She finally looked up at the men, panting as she met each of their stares with steady grey eyes. When she noticed the remains of Raphael her face hardened.

'You did this Castiel?' she asked straightening up and striding toward him her breath still laboured. Castiel held his ground his scarily smug expression firmly in place.

'Yes' He replied simply.

As the stranger and his former BFF held each other's gaze Dean felt the room suddenly began to swim with the bitterest of despair. It started as a whisper around his feet before rapidly filling the room like a burst water main. Sam must have felt it to because tears shone on his cheeks as he moved quietly to stand beside an equally damp cheeked Bobby. Breathing became difficult as they wordlessly communicated to each other that maybe they should split before the swirling grief suffocated them. Bobby's foot was barely on the first tread when the woman spoke again. 'Stay.' She said her voice rich with tears as the room emptied again and the gut-wrenching heartbreak eased inside the hunters.

She leaned toward Castiel speaking softly as she cupped his face in her hands. 'I am so sorry Castiel. Something deep inside me aches _so_ badly to see you like this.' The terrifyingly smug look froze on Cas's face. He swallowed nervously before she leaned in to kiss him gently on his cheeks. The angel shivered beneath her touch. '_You_ are my greatest creation and this that has happened to you, it is nobody's fault but mine.' She let her hands fall sniffing and wiping her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. 'It has-'

'Wait a second Y-y- you're God!' Sam stammered.

Dean looked between his little brother and the woman standing in front of Cas and the penny dropped. 'Well, nice of you to finally show up,' he barked unable to keep the anger from his voice. 'What you been too busy listening to the tune-yards and drinking Macciato's with your louche hipster pal's to come sort out your own mess?' She turned to regard him and he pushed his finger hard into her soft human shoulder highlighting each of his points with a vicious jab. 'We've spent three years on this merry-go-round of knives, we almost lost everything, and you show up now! After all of this!' Fury and frustration and despair poured from him.

'Quit. hurling. Faeces. Dean.' She spoke harshly swatting away his hand. 'I got here as fast as I could.'

Dean's mouth flapped open, then shut, then did it all over again.

'Yeah, well your timin' stinks.' Bobby piped up.

She cast a withering stare across the hunters which brooked no further discussion.

'I understand your anger, I really do and I _am_ sorry I did not get here sooner. There is little that can be done about that now.' Sam's kicked puppy look had nothing on this woman's woeful dewy eyes.

Dean hazarded a glance at Castiel who looked a little like his entire understanding of everything had been turned to glass and smashed in the face with a sledge hammer. Dean's already shredded heart tore just a little further. He wanted to go to his old friend and tell him that everything would be ok that they could fix it, all of it, just like they all ways did. But he knew it would be a filthy lie so instead he just nursed his broken ribs and dislocated shoulder and said nothing.

'I am, or…..I was Sylvie.' God continued. 'This is….still her body.' She gestured mournfully at her ruined meat-suit. 'Please refer to me as such as I haven't been just God in a very long time.' She sighed and the wound in her chest bubbled causing Sam to gag slightly. 'Oh right, um I suppose I should set about patching everyone up.' She suggested one eyebrow cocked.

'Do you mind?' She asked Dean stepping closer to him her hand raised.

'Knock yourself out sweetheart.' He sneered.

As she placed her hand upon his shoulder the foul smell of old blood churned Dean's stomach and he fought the urge to shrink from her touch. Warmth and something akin to pure bliss began to seep from her hand and into his body. It repaired the injuries he received from the fall and the tumble in the Impala earlier. The pain lessened as God knitted his bones, muscles and tissue back together. Then the sensation went deeper still, to the very core of his being and eased a pain so ingrained and omnipresent Dean hadn't even realised it was there. 'What th-, what was that?' He asked softly as she withdrew her touch.

'Your guilt,' her voice whispered inside his head 'It was poisoning your soul like a drum of dumped depleted uranium.' She finished aloud before fixing Bobby with a questioning stare. He shrugged with a small wince and Dean watched as the older hunters face slackened his eyes awash with awe as she healed his body and no doubt a part of his soul.

By the time she set her sights on Sam he was barely holding it together sweat gathered upon his brow and his body shook so hard his brain felt like dice in a cup. Sylvie didn't bother to ask permission as Sam was in no position to resist her even if he wanted to. Her gentle touch drew a gasp from his lips his trembling eased then stopped completely. The fog cleared from his eyes and he was whole again. The woman met Sam's smile with a toothy grin of her own. She squeezed his shoulder before turning back to the Men. The wound in her chest had vanished the blood however remained.

'What about Cas?' Dean asked inclining his head to his immobile friend.

'It is not within my power to fully repair Castiel. He has been betrayed and abandoned by the only people he has ever loved the very people who showed him what it is to love. There is nothing I alone can do to repair this kind of pain. It is all of us who will be responsible for Castiel's care.' The hard look was back on her face. 'Castiel was the purest of all things and our betrayal rests within him like a festering wound, you treated him like a dog, he gave you guys and humanity everything and you, you three could not even give him the benefit of the doubt. It is now upon your heads to repair this part of Castiel as you are the only ones who can.' Her voice trembled and the air was momentarily thick with grief again.

'It was you who began this…this wound inside of me' Castiel spoke softly his eyes still on the ground in front of his feet. 'You abandoned us. Where were you when I prayed to you in desperation? When I hunted the universe for you? When we had lost all hope? When Lucifer once again walked the earth?' Castiel's voice became a venom filled growl as his new power crackled beneath Jimmy's skin.

'I have been away for a long time Castiel. The burdens of heaven have weighed heavily upon the shoulders of you and your friends. I did not foresee that these burdens would be too heavy for you to bear. I promise you as soon as I was made aware of how off the rails everything had gotten I set about returning to help, but it seems am too late.'

'You_ are_ too late' Castiel's brilliant blue eyes met Sylvie's steady grey stare. 'Your time has passed.'

Sylvie was silent for a long time before she shook her head gently. 'I do not doubt that you would do a much better job of it than I, but I will not have you clean up my mess Castiel. You have already suffered gravely, done…regrettable things for me. I will not permit any more blood on your hands.'

'I do not seek your permission.' He hissed and the hairs on the back of the humans necks prickled as Castiel's power hummed in the small room.

'You are not yourself Castiel. I am still God.' Sylvie said quietly. 'And I will do whatever it takes to return you to your _former_ self and to win back your regard. You can be a new God if you so wish 'n' I will be your first devotee.'

'You would not be welcome.' Castiel was now painful to look at the light he emanated was so bright and the static electricity was causing Sam's floppy locks to stand on end which Dean thought might be funny if not for all the crap your pants terror.

Sylvie snarled. 'The lengths I have gone to. The things I have done to get to you Castiel to save you before you became, before….' She advanced upon the former angel and the air became scalding as she whispered 'get out now' inside the men's heads. Bobby and Sam made for the stairs but Dean stayed.

'Dean!' Sam demanded from half way up the stairs.

'Leave now Dean.' Sylvie turned to him fury burned in her pail eyes she no longer looked or sounded entirely human.

Dean swallowed hard licking his lips. 'You know what, you were right Cas deserved better. Of course he did, but all he got was us. And we are a bunch of stubborn assholes an' I dunno we probably should have listened. We probably defiantly shouldn't have stabbed him in the back.' Dean shot Sam a glare as he rubbed his palm across his chin. All of a sudden the enormity of the moment was kind of over whelming. 'The one thing I know for sure is that if Cas is in there somewhere, there's no way in hell I'm leaving him here with you.'

Sylvie laughed cold and bitter before sending waves of paralysing terror barrelling into Dean. Urine seeped down the leg of his jeans as cold fingers of sheer terror clenched his chest. 'I…I...know it's too little too late,' he rasped 'but if you're gonna hurt Cas it'll have to be over my dead body.' He concluded while forcing his traitorous pant-peeing body closer to his friend.

The progress was slow and humiliating but finally with shielded eyes he came to stand in front of Cas, his Cas. 'Cas I'm sorry. I was a shitty friend and a second-rate brother. I should o' stood by you. If this is the end, if you and God are gonna kill each other and the rest of us in the process, then you should know that I…you know….that…you are…you know…loved, admittedly by a fucked up bunch of bourbon soaked, demon blood addicted mud monkeys. I really wish…..' He grabbed a fist of Cas's coat and jacket giving it a little tug before smoothing it out gently. 'Great now I'm gonna have to die with a vagina – awesome.' He huffed before shooting Cas his best give 'em hell grin and lurching around to hammer Gods jaw with a devastating uppercut.

Time seemed to freeze as God sailed off her feet and hung for a moment in the air before landing with a sickening crack and a dull 'oof'.

Time restarted with a jolt as a bunch of things happened all at once. Dean realized the second and third metacarpal bones of his right hand had splintered. Sam and Bobby were all of a sudden beside Cas and Dean. Castiel stopped glowing like some sort of radioactive swamp monster. Dean felt the room sway as he noticed the tiny shards of bone breaching the skin on the back of his seriously misshapen hand. The four of them froze in horror as they watched a pool of bright blood halo Sylvie's dark hair against the stark white of the tiled floor. And just as a bunch of Raphael's henchmen burst through the door at the top of the stairs, a slightly dazed and utterly rumpled Balthazar spilled from the broom closet.

Bobby moved to flank Cas's other side drawing an angel blade from the back of his jeans. Sam armed up with the blade he had earlier buried hilt deep into the man/angel/god he was now standing beside. Dean unarmed and one hand down and fighting for consciousness decided he would go with the power of his all mighty "don't-mess-with-me" glare.

'What the holy FUCK is going on in here?' Balthazar stammered surveying what was likely to be a pretty weird scene. Raphael's troops jumped the stair rail and advanced menacingly upon team free will. 'Enough!' Came an ear splitting roar from the blood covered woman on the floor who rose like a Vampire in a cheesy horror film. 'I have had a really, bad, day, I am covered in the blood of people I desperately loved. I am tired and I am dirty and I am disappointed!' She glared at them as she gingerly probed the back of her head. 'Everyone stand the fuck down!' She growled lashing the new angels with a little "I'm God, you asses" power. The henchmen backed off and the hunters lowered their blades.

Sylvie's chucks skidded a little in the pool of her own blood as she dragged a chair to the centre of the room. Slumping down with a sigh she regarded the room to be sure she had their attention before snapping her fingers. Like one of those slow-mo demolition-in-reverse videos, all the itty bitty fragments of Raphael splattered all over the room flew together to reassemble themselves into a blinking and confused archangel.

'Here's what's going to happen next. Raphael you and your merry band miscreants are grounded. You can consider earth your naughty chair until you can figure out what it-'

'You ca-' Began Raphael.

'Oh yes I can.' Sylvie silenced him with a delicate twist of her fist at which the archangel and his mooks doubled over in silent pain.

'You were so keen to see the destruction of the human race it shall now fall to you to find solutions to their most challenging problems – global warming, the unequal dispersion of wealth and resources, hatred, violence, Ben Affleck etcetera.' She unclenched her fist releasing the writhing angels and turned her attention to Balthazar who was doing his best to melt into the background.

'Balthazar. It is nice to see you up and about again. From what I hear you seem to have made yourself fairly familiar with the ways of humans.' She cocked an eyebrow at the angel who had the good grace to at least fain sheepishness. 'You shall form a new garrison from whichever angels we have left and they shall be tasked with overseeing the progress of these misguided angels into productive world saving humans.'

'It will be my greatest pleasure father.' Balthazar nodded into a slightly sardonic bow. 'Cmmon Lad's and_ ladies_.' He grinned wickedly at Raphael. 'Let's roll.' And with that they were gone.

'Will you call your pit bulls off please Castiel?' She asked massaging her jaw.

Castiel stepped forward to stand in front of Dean. A small sad smile briefly graced his lips. They shared one of their trademark stares as Cas placed a hand upon his hunter's shoulder healing Dean's broken hand and cleaning his soiled clothing. Cas then ducked his head and walked over to Sylvie. Cupping her jaw he healed the wound in the back of her head and removed all the traces of blood from her skin, hair and clothing.

'What is next for me?' He asked her quietly.

Her lips twitched into a fleeting smile and Dean suddenly saw the family resemblance. 'You are no longer bound to me Castiel. Your future is whatever you wish to make it.' She shook he head ruefully as her eyes became dewy again and she swallowed nervously. 'I hope that someday you will return to Heaven - help me "iron out some of the creases." If you do not wish to return obviously I will understand. Or if you wish to return only to hoist my head on a pike then I shall be waiting.' She stood examining her dishevel appearance before turning back to Castiel. 'I meant what I said earlier, I would like to set things right with you. I too love you Castiel.' She placed her hand above Jimmy's heart after the smallest hesitation Castiel leaned into her touch. His usually stoic expression was nowhere to be seen replaced by one so soft and tender Dean turned away.

After an awkward quiet moment God announced she should be going. Sam, Dean and Bobby agreed to bury Sylvie's body once God had left her. She spoke quietly to each of them before steeling a tender if somewhat dirty kiss from Sam and heading back down stairs shutting the Men in the safety of the hallway. Moments later blinding light radiated around the edge of the door. It lasted for a few long minutes before it faded and the door swung open. Castiel climbed the stairs carrying Sylvie's lifeless form.

Sam and Dean took turns digging. The soft schoosh of the shovel against earth was the only sound that broke the silence in the dingy lot behind Crowley's lair. The hunters tried not to think too much about the girl they had just buried and Castiel said a few soft words in some ancient language over the un-marked grave before they headed for the road.

Beside Bobby's car the Impala sat repaired and shiny just as God had promised. Dean gave her an affectionate pat.

'I don't know about you boys but I sure could use a drink.' Bobby said as he opened his car door.

'Definitely.' Sam agreed the goofy grin that had been inappropriately hovering ever since God kissed him spilled briefly onto his face.

'See you boy's at my place then.' The older man huffed before heading off in a shower of dust and stones. Sam's face was all puppy-dog serious as he turned to Cas. Cas's eyes were just sad. 'Cas man, I'm really sorr-'

Castiel raised his hand to stop Sam's apology but Sam barrelled on regardless.

'I tried to kill you, I mean fuck Cas that's pretty messed up.'

'You were trying to protect your brother Sam, I understand.' Castiel gave Sam an honest and forgiving look. 'I am sorry I broke the wall protecting your soul and that I failed to bring you back whole in the first place.' Sam nodded his acceptance of the apology before Castiel continued. 'Frankly I am a little surprised, given the circumstances, that you did not attempt it sooner.' The corner of Cas's mouth twitched infinitesimally at his own weird joke.

'Well Cas,' Dean began with a shrug 'you know you're not _really_ part of the family until Sam tries to ventilate you. It's like a Winchester rite of passage, ay Sammy?' He smirked at Castiel. Sam bitch faced across the roof of the Impala before ducking into the passenger seat.

Dean and Cas stared at each other for a bit.

'After all this time - you just met your Dad?' Dean raised his eyebrows turning the statement into a question.

'It was…..illuminating and humbling….and certainly not at my finest moment.' Castiel admitted looking away. 'But for the first time in a long time I feel…' he sighed searching for the right words 'a sense of sanguinity, perhaps?' His brow furrowed as his gaze returned to Dean's.

'S'at a good thing?' Dean ejected.

'Yes Dean, I believe it is.' Cas looked very un-Cas like as a small happy smile graced his features. Dean couldn't help but wonder if God had removed the stick from Cas's ass before she flitted back to Heaven.

'We just got our asses handed to us by God. By. God.' He chuckled. 'And you, you became a God Cas. An' you smote the crap out of Raphael. An' you saved everyone, as usual.'

'And true to form – you somewhat insouciantly sucker punched her.' Castiel huffed.

'Yeah well' Dean chuckled curling his hands into fists 'she sure as hell had it coming.'

And then the awkward's were back and Dean began to feel exhaustion creeping in as the adrenalin seeped from his body.

'Dean, I..' Castiel began softly.

'I know Cas. Me to.' He placed his hands on his friends trench coated shoulders meeting his eyes again. 'I really am Cas.'

Castiel nodded and Dean slugged his shoulder. 'Now get your ass in the car, let's see if we can't find you a liquor store. All though, who knows, now maybe we should just find you a distillery and be done with it.' Dean grinned and Cas grinned back. Dean would be dammed if being back in his baby with his brothers didn't kinda fill his chest with a long lost and totally welcome sense of Sanguinity.


End file.
